Places

There are places that are very interessting and where some good things happen, but if when I go there I get a slap in the face even just once in a while, I don't feel good. So why take the chance?

Christmas Favorite

Sometimes..

Even though I think I'm one of the luckiest gals in the world.. sometimes I would just soooooo need a group hug. *sigh*

Your e-mail will never be sold..

" your e-mail will never be sold or rented."

what's not said is :

"but I will send you a mail every week just so you remember me"
"but I will send you advertisements about each new book I write"
"but I will send you polls to find out what products you like"
"but I will send you references to other autors who might ask for your e-mail so that they can do the same"

"but your e-mail will never be sold or rented.. just given to others! who in turn give me lists of people who's e-mails will never be sold or rented"

from me to you.. hope you like

La bienveillance.. et se soucier des autres..

Il y a des gens qui ne se soucient des autres que quand ça parait bien. Si'l y a un malheur quelque part.. c'est les premiers à dire qu'ils ont terriblement affectés. Mais si on leur dit nos sentiments, et que ça ne les arrangent pas.. ils s'en foutent royalement.

C'est facile se soucier des autres quand ça n'implique aucun changement de notre part. Mais alors je trouve que c'est juste du "paraître" et de l'"hypocrésie".

Quelque de bienveillant l'est au fond du coeur, même quand ça ne mérite pas le titre de Mère Theresa! Chaque petite goutte d'amour qu'on mets dans le monde se répercute dans le monde entiers.. et la même chose avec chaque petite goutte de lâcheté et dégoïsme.

Keeping it hot

You have to keep flirting with your significant other..
and he/she has to flirt back...
do not take things for granted..
and I don't mean to just flirt as preliminairies. but alot of the times when you're together..
All it has to be is in the eyes, the smile, a touch..
but it has to be ALOT of the time..
so that in the middle of the day when you're apart..
and you think of the other..
you remember the way they looked at you..
they way they wanted you..
and it makes you smile.
you can make yourself and her desire each other ..
If you flirt this way..
you'll both find/make time/energy to be together.

Je disais à un ami..

Mais je n'aime pas les gros tatouages au milieux du bas du dos

Je trouve que c'est un endroit qui est déjà tellement "sexy" qu'avec un tatouage.. bon.. en jeans bas ou costume de bain.. ça attire l'attention, mais toute nue.. ça cache (habille) un endroit qui serait très spécial sans tatouage..

I've said it to others.. now I repeat it to myself..

Do not let their anger win, love is the only way.

I truely believe it...

LLuke sur Deviantart

Je connais LLuke sur IRC depuis environs 10 ans et j'ai eue la chance même de le rencontrer lors de son passage au Québec. Mais la raison que je pense à lui ce soir, c'est que je ne l'ai jamais vu aussi passionné pour quelque chose, et moi .. j'adore ça! Voir, lire la passion de quelqu'un. L'objet de sa passion? Un Nikon D80. Depuis que LLuke l'a il rayonne d'enthousisme pour la photo! et je le comprends! LLuke n'est certe pas un débutant en matière de photo. Mais là.. il se dépasse.. et avec autant d'enthousiasme, je suis certaine que même excellente maintenant, ces photos vont devenir encore meilleure!
Je vous invite à les explorer.. mais non seulement les explorer maintenant, mais à suvire l'évolution qu'on verra surment au cours des prochaines années!

Les photos de LLuke

Et en français?

Je vie en français, j'aime en français, je travaille en français.. alors ce serait bien normale que je blogue en français aussi.. je ne sais pas ce que ça va donner de bloguer en bilingue, mais c'est certain que je n'ai pas un blogue qui va devenir populaire de toute façon, alors pourquoi pas n'en faire qu'à ma tête ?

Feel good photo

Whenever I'm a little down.. I just need to glance at this photo of my son in a halloween costume I made him when he was 3 years old and a smile comes to my face. It's framed and hung besides the sink in the washroom.. so I see it a couple times a day. And when I'm feeling good, well looking at him makes me smile even more. I guess it's not just the photo.. it's the memories as well.. making the costume mostly out of recuperated materials because we didn't have much money those years.. starting one pompom thinking it will be the only one, (at the top of his hat) then deciding to make one to put on the yellow collar. It's midnight by then, but the daddy is away on a business trip.. so I have time.. why not make another one.. and another one.. falling asleep in the living room..

He's 24 now.. *smile* I have a picture of him and his fiancée above the computer.. He still has that smile that makes me smile :)

Star Trek Personality

I'll have to think about this one.. LOL the answer: Geordi LaForge really caught me by surprise.. but I don't know which other caracter I would be either, so I'll have to take the answer.

The second result.. "An Expendable Character "

Since your accomplishments are seldom noticed,
and you are rarely thought of, you are expendable.
That doesn't mean your job isn't important but if you
were in Star Trek you would be killed off in the first
episode you appeared in

is very often how I feel

Your results:

You are Geordi LaForge

You work well with others and often fix problems quickly. Your romantic relationships are often bungled.

Geordi LaForge 95% An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 90% Mr. Sulu 75% Beverly Crusher 70% Worf 70% James T. Kirk (Captain) 65% Mr. Scott 65% Jean-Luc Picard 65% Deanna Troi 65% Spock 52% Data 50% Uhura 40% Chekov 35% Will Riker 30% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 25%

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Quiz

Nice way to start the weekend

I have a sort of virtual date on friday mornings.... with a friend I've know almost 10 years on IRC and who came over to visit for a week a number of years ago. Of course.. with life catching up.. he's now married and has a child, he doesn't chat much anymore.. and we even almost lost touch for a few years.. then we communicated by e-mail for a few years, but that wasn't enough either.. so now.. when we can.. we meet en IRC friday mornings.. that is MY friday mornings, HIS friday afternoons since he's en Europe. of course.. he's at work, so he can't always.. like this week, he had a meeting of some sorts.. but that's ok.. there will be other fridays and meanwhile I still really enjoy IRC.. had a nice long chat, almost an hour an a half, with a guy I've known a few months.. about weight training and sports.

I'll have to remember all the good contacts I have..

There's a research that says that in a couple, there has to be 6 times as many good incidents as bad ones. I think that is probably about right for alot of things..

If I'm on a forum or in a chatroom and someone gives me a hate message.. I need 6 love messages to feel good about that forum or chat. OK.. It's not as calculated as that.. I definately don't count the incedents.. but what it does boil down to.. is that we all need positive stuff.. alot more than just one good thing for one bad one.

and now.. Mary.. go outside and play!

Was he drunk????

I wonder if he was drunk when he sent me that message saying he missed talking to me. He seemed so nice. And then he disapeared. He must have been drunk.. lol

Things I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful

• that I live in a part of the world that is not at war.
• that I can believe that my son has a fair chance at happiness.
• that I have someone who loves me, cares about me and is a witness to my joys and sorrows.
• that I have someone to love and care for and cuddle up to to at night.
• that I have friends who've stood by me in bad times and that I know that I can count on.
• that I have friends with whom I share interests and that I know that I can count on.
• that I still have a brother whom I dearly love.
• that I'm healthy in both mind and body.
• that I have a warm safe place to live.
• that I have job security.
• that I have plans and dreams and things to look forward to

I'm soo lucky.. and hope that I give back to the world some of what I get..

Different kinds of balancing?

I definately believe that learning to stand on a Swiss Ball has no carry over value into sports stuff. The reason I believe it.. is because I've learned kneeling on it a little, and I really don't feel anything but fun out if it. However.. some excercises on the bosu or small balance pods.. I can't say the same thing..
my (uneducated) conslusion :
When to balance on something we have to turn the object in the right position, find the center of the ball.. where to put pressure on it.. it's like a circus trick,
When to balance on something we have to learn to aligne ourselves properly it has some carry over value..
If I take the example of the Bosu (half dome) then it means if I put the ball side down and the flat side up.. I just have to find the proper place to put my weight (and keep it there) but if I put the flat side down and balance on the ball side.. then I have to aligne my body in relation with itself.

Being competitive

Being competitive.. wanting to win.. is a very strong personality trait that people have, or don't have to variing degree. but also, people have very different views on what is competitivness. I think that someone who says he is at competition with himself, is just as competitive as the guy wanting to be the best in a bunch. Some people can be too competitive with themselves, just as they can be too competitive with others. Some people can be Not competitive enough with themselves nor with others.. (but that's another subject)

Being competitive means having a goal, and doing what it takes to reach it. Nothing wrong with that. Being too competitive means having a goal, and doing anything it takes to reach it. Being competitive means getting pleasure out of going to your limits. Being too competitive means ruining your well being by feeling worthless when you're not "the best". Being competitive means admireing those who are better than you. Being too competitive means hating those who are better than you.

I got into fencing competitions sort of by chance.. never had it in my mind.. I started fencing just for fun, at 15, to try a sport that my brother was doing in Military College. At the begining of my second year fencing, my fencing master asked me, in a casual way.. "Do you want to be Québec Class C fencing champion?" LOL I had never even thought of competing, and laughed and replied "Sure, why not Canadian Champion?" I thought he'd laugh.. but know.. in his ever calm way.. he said "OK, but maybe not this year, first things first" I tilted my head and realized he was serious. I said "OK".

At my first competition, the Quebec under 20s, I set my goal to make the finales.. and if I made the finals I'd have "fun" in the finals. That's what happened.. but then.. the wheels began to turn.. They tell you.. "if you do well in the next competition, you'll be chosen to go to Quebec City (2 hours) for that other competition. I was 17 years old.. no money to travel.. of course I wanted to go. So I worked hard.. trained hard.. this was early 1970s.. trainers didn't think much about overtraining.. (but that's another subject) so I got results,

I was known as a "tigresse" (willing to fight like a tiger) When I was on the piste, even if I was sick with the flu, or having an allergie reaction to some medication.. I'd fight it all out.

When I'd loose, I'd be mad, or cry, or get drunk.. depending on the reason I lost. (ok, only got drunk once because of a counter performance, but it was a memerable once..) and I go back to training even harder.

That was just the way things were.. everyone I knew was like that.. alot of them were MUCH worst than me.

During the competitions.. I was on a natural high most of the time.. very focused.. over the years, I gained experience.. saw alot of things around me that I didn't like.. but when at 26 I decided to stop competing in fencing.. I felt like a devorcee.. for years I had been someone.. "a fencer" like a lady of my generation would be a "Mrs. Someone".. and leaving the fencing competitions.. I was no-one anymore... had to find myself..

I think I did.. and the ME without the competitions.. is a much nicer me.

I don't miss it at all. and don't look for it. do everything I can to stay away from it.

but I recognize it in people when I see it. It doesn't have to be in a competition situgation. It can be in ordinary converstation.. in leisure activites, in homje remodeling.. those people stress me when they get too close.

Scary how wishes come true

humm I wanted more time to write, and I'm on my back now, with a very bad lower back ache, like I haven't had for a long time.. so I'm set up with my laptop in bed.. knees bent to keep my back straight on the mattress.. good for know, Sat too much this morning.. when a walk of carry something the least bit heavy.. my back hurts.. not an excruciating pain.. but very scary.

reminds me of another back-ache I had.. for 15 years! It took a bout with bronchitis to make it go away! yup.. 3 weeks in bed, sick like hell.. and my back ache was cured! If I had know.. I would have done more to listen to the doctor who wanted to make me go to the hospital for a week of "full rest" .. my backache was from overtraining in the season before the 1976 olympics.. I was 4th.. the team was compose of 3.. I tried too hard.. and with bad guidance. that year I was off for 4 months.. and the comeback was real slow.. in the years following.. I'd have 5-6 crises because of my back.. 10-15 years later.. it still happened 2-3 times a ywar.. then, after my 3 weeks forced full rest, it didn't happen again.. until know.

You'd think that with a 15 year back pain history I learned my lesson, and am resting 'cause it happened yesterday.. Well no.. I happened almost a week ago.. and did a weigts workout the same day, and a weights workout and a yoga class to days later.. and worked at work, bending, twisting, carrying stuff, sitting.. all week.. and now I have to pay for it. How much? I don't know.. I'm planning on resting 3 days.. and if on Monday I'm not well, I'll go see the docteur..

this stinks.. have time to write stinks..

sorry about that.. and thanks for reading!

I wish I was a writer..

I have so much to say.. so many thoughts.. during the day I tell myself that I have to write about such or such a thing.. but when???? the days, weeks, months, even years go by so fast..

What should I drop to have the time to write what I want to write? I won't drop talking with my boyfriend, son, family or chatting with my friends... I won't drop working out or dancing or hiking..

there isn't much housework I can drop, I've already dropped most of it just to Log my fitness journal.. can't drop that! I think that in a few years it will be a rich and useful souvenir and might just inspire someone to continue.. well.. might ok.. inspire ME to continue? ;)

the only thing I see that I could drop is work! and become a writer.. but blogging will definately not put food in my pantry nore pay the gym membership.. so what else can I do..?

*sigh* wait for retirement.. put writing on the list.. somewhere between
learning to play the piano.. (I have an excellent piano that only gets heard on the rare occasions when my son comes home).. learning Spanish.. getting back into photography, finishing the basement..

Preparing for the worst..

Funny how I think of myself as an optimist person.. yet sometimes I prepare for the worst. I could never say to my son that I'll live forever, or that I'll always be there for him.. The best I could do was to say that I'll take care of myself as much as I can to be there for a long long time. And in the same way.. I don't want to think that he'll be there forever.

Anything can happen.. sometimes even good things take loved ones away very far.. and I know that if I don't get used to the idea ahead of time, I'll panic. and if it doesn't happen.. well I don't take it for granted.. I'm real glad it didn't happen.

It works for alot of things.. but of course I don't go around looking for things that can go wrong.. and I definately wish I could just take things that happen without pannicing.. and I'm working on that.. but until I'm sure I can handle stuff, I'd rather play it safe.

Nouveau départ

Voilà! this blog is no longer attached to the Fitness logs .. It can fly on its own lonesome.

Weightlifting..tempo.. the missing pause

Ok.. this is not for everyone.. but it's been bothering me for quite a while.

In english we write the tempo EPC.. excentric-pause-concentric, and in french it's CPE .. concentric-pause-excentric. so if I take a squat.. that means in english : down, pause up. and in french : up, pause, down. but what I don't understand is that actually there are 4 steps.. (even if the pause = 0, it is there) for me it's down, pause (or change direction), up, pause (or change direction). and it's not the same pause that is mentionned in english or in french!

I have no problèmes with my training (I think). I mean I think I know when to pause.. like in a crunch.. I'd pause "crunched" and not "lying down" (humm considering my shoulders wouldn't be touching anything anyways.. that might be something interesting to try.. 2-2-2-2.. but that's another story) anyways.. so I crunch, I stay crunched and I de-crunch and start again.. for me that's CPE.. but if I take it in English.. I'd de-crunch, pause "lying down" , crunch and start agin.

and back to the squat : in english I read : excentric-pause-concentric that means the means the pause is at the bottom????

now for the deadlift.. EPC means down, pause, up.. that could be logical.. and real "dead"lifting..

but how about Bench Presses? EPC means hold back going down, pause, push, and right back down again.. while in french CPE means push, hold at arms length, come back down, and push again.

I don't know if I'm completely wrong in what I'm saying, nore if you understand what I mean..

??

thanks!

Day 5

lots of things are not going well .. lots on my mind.. tomorrow very important day at work.. things going on with my son.. hope things will go well for him..

But Day 5 is Day 5, at least that's that! :-)

Day 3

coming home from the gym.. have 1 egg + 2 egg whites + 1 tomato.. this is the type of supper I'd need to eat every day!


8:45 pm..
1 tbsp peanut butter..
1 esspresso coffee

my stomach aches.. but is it from what I ate, drank or did at the gym? *sigh*


I'll edit later if I eat more..

Day 1

yesterday was bad.. supper at my brother's place with my son and his financée..

So I'm back at Day 1 today.

Day 2

But I still don't know of what... but I have started something..

Day 1

ok.. I've started..

what? well that we'll have to see..

Time to start again

ok.. summer vacations are over.. time to start again..

start what? that's what I have to decide.

Thought for my 3 weeks vacations..

"Feeling slim tastes better than any meal"

pay cut.. maybe a new part time job..

Since my burnout 4 years ago, I've been doing office work instead of being an Events Organizer.. and to get the office work job.. I had to give up my rights to keeping my Events Organizer's salary after 4 years.. The 4 years are up, my salary goes down.. 20%.. and I only work 4 days a week (28 hours) so I'll really be in a hole.

But.. I've heard rumors.. that a 1 day a week job might be available for me.. that would mean less time to train.. but less worries about money.. I'll take it!

Well.. I'll take it if it happends.. now I'm just nervous.. and crossing my toes.. still keeping my fingers to type ;)

and I'm nervous, but keeping it straight on the diet.. still at 144..

*EDIT* a few hours later, I heard that they want me to do my 4 days of work in 3 days.. and do the extra work on my regular hours without extra time.. I cried.. but I'll try to keep an open mind until I'll hear the official version..

I WILL NOT have an other BURNOUT by trying to do too much work in too little time.

on and off

I went up a few pounds, and now am going down again.. I'm in the "not fat" catagory, when I want to be in the "thin" group.

However.. I AM real fit and healthy.. so I guess when my time will come, I'll make it.

I'll be on vacation from July 13th to August 6th.. but will try logging more often than recently, at least when I'm at home.

slow but steady..

going down.. real slow.. but steady. And that's not bad after a week-end in Québec City with friends, restaurant, wine and deserts..

we also had :

a brisk walk : 1 h 30
a stroll by the waterfalls : 1 h 00
a mountain hike : 3 h 30

but what's most important.. my control is still at "ON" :D

have a good day everyone!

Ideal Protein Diet

Ok, So this nice lady who's a collegue of my boyfriend's is on a diet. She got the diet at the gym where she signed up not long ago. (Not the same gym as my bf an I). Anyways.. we got a copy of the diet that her personal trainer put her on. It's not specifically designed for her, it's just the diet that that gym uses. A high protein diet.. low carb.. Something like the South Beach Diet.. but with Powder mixes..

I'll be looking into it soon.. we'll see.


*sigh* ahhh how I wish I could have a personal trainer..

otherwise well.. I had a nice day.. My fitness log and we're going dancing tonight :)

"burn calories, burn!"

back on track

This Sunday's 11 hour hike really put me back on track for my diet.. at least so far. Now, all I have to do is stick to it. ok.. it's only been 2 days.. but one day at a time is all I need.

I was 142 this morning.

finding a way..

After a few messages I suggested this to Greg

Marykaa a dit…
I'm ok with a "little" humiliation.. but not too much.. how about we just report in to each others blogs.. that way people don't associate it directly.. like they have to work a little to really follow..

so just in my last post on my blog write something like :

"Greg reporting in at ---lbs. "

and I'll report in to your last message saying

"Marykaa reporting in at ---lbs. "

If either of us don't blog a couple days.. it's ok.. the other just reports in each day to the last message. I'm not a real blogger so I don't really know how we should do it.. but to tell you the truth, as long as you and I are ok with it.. I don't really care ;) what do you think?
5:00 PM

I wanted to find a way to be accountable.. but that's not too humiliating and too depressing in my own blog. I don't need to batter myself with feel bad stuff.. but if Greg reports in to my logs.. I can still encourage him.

We'll see what he thinks..

I'm letting myself down.. :(

I'm ashamed to say.. but saying it is important.. I'm letting myself down nutrition-wise..

ahhh :)

à day off from training.. and I cut my hair.. yup... I dared cut my own hair.. just as short as usual .. but hadn't done it myself for over 15 years.. feels good.. and that much less to spend each month!

otherwise.. well I read in a Lisa's log..

"Then I just gave up and went out to the pool. Where my S-I-L took some pictures. I have GOT to get back on a program and lose this fat layer!! I have gained almost 10 lbs in the last 6-8 weeks. Most people are losing weight for the summer, I found it! "

humm that's exactly how I feel.. and I won't have it.. I was good all day.. I'll stick to it tomorrow as well.. even if I have a Workout after work.. I'll come in and blog as soon as I get home.. maybe only log what I eat when I get home.. that's my problèm spot right now.

Active week-end

A hike on Friday, lots of dancing on Saturday, and the gym on Sunday.. great week-end.. but today (Sunday) I just can't seem to stop eating.. only slept 5 hours last night.. that doesn't help.

At last, Restaurants free from smoke!

Yahoo Canada

Quebec counting down the days until smoking banned in all public places

May 21st 2006

At the stroke of midnight marking May 31, smoking will be prohibited in restaurants, bars, private clubs, bingo halls and casinos along with all other facilities open to the public. Bill 112 also forbids smokers from lighting up within nine metres of any doorway leading to a health or social services institution, college, university or child-care facility.

Businesses that fail to butt out face fines up to $10,000 for repeat offences. Individual smokers who flout the ban could be fined $87 for a first offence and up to $600 for repeated violations.

Health Minister Philippe Couillard, a doctor, said it's a matter of public health. "Remember that death by cancer in Quebec is higher than in the rest of Canada, in large part because we have a very high rate of lung cancer which is directly linked to tobacco," Couillard told reporters last week. "Our tobacco use rate is the highest in Canada, so the link is very clear."

quick update

wow! what a weekend!

lots of dancing, including an evening of Bolivienne traditional dances.. and lots of special meals, including a 4 hour supper at "Thailande" in Montréal.

It was my son's birthday yesterday.. 24..

and today.. I've got to get down real serious on my diet.

I dropped the fitness forum I was on for 6 months. It really wasn't getting me anywhere.. no help with my training, very rare encouragements..

lots of admiration for the amount and variety of stuff I do.. but even though I like being a good example of what an 50+ active life can be.. I don't really need that.

It wasn't a rash decision, and it wasn't because of just one thing.. so I think it's all for the best.

I realized lately that I have alot of good people to talk fitness with at the gym, and lots of friends both IRL and on the net. So I rather put my energies where I am appreciated :)

I hope you all have a great Monday

xxx

Tea-Globe and Genmaicha

Genmaicha is a mix of green tea and dry-roasted rice. We had some in a Japanese restaurant on Mother's Day. At the time I didn't know the name but with a little Googling, it wasn't difficult to find. In eastern medecine it is said to be even better than green tea alone.

So now that I have my Tea-Globe it will be alot more plesant to try differnet recipies. I read somewhere that the best water for green tea is at 170-185°F, just as steam begins to leave the spout of the teapot. I used to infuse it way to long.. it should be only 2-3 minutes.. and the tea that is not in the first cup, poured through a filter into another teapot.

Idendifying..

I started yoga a few weeks ago.. and after just 1 week, I bought a yoga mat. It's really for a safety reason.. the fitness mats available are very slippery but also for comfort.. the fitness mats are too short and standing barefoot on the floor is cold. Anyways I surfed to learn a little about mats and figured it would cost to much transportation to buy one online, and so I set out to see what was available around where I live. I found this set on sail at 40% off.. with a carrying bag but also with blocks and a strap that I didn't need, but since it was such a bargin.. I figured maybe I'll need them in the futur. Usually when I start an activity I do it for quite a while. I had noticed of course that it was a Nike yoga mat.. and usually I don't care about logos on equipement.. so much.. that I wish my car didn't have make and model identification on it and on our refrigerater I took make logo off the front and stuck in inside the fridge.

But this time.. with the yoga mat something was different.. I was glad there was the Nike Checkmark on it.. and I wondered why.

The answer came to me on the first Thursday after when I went to yoga class with my mat. What's special about Thursday's Yoga class is that I don't do any training before.. (before my Monday's Yoga class I do my regular strenght work-out and a Tae-Box class). So there I am in line waiting for the class to begin, talking with the other people who take the class and having a nice social moment. However.. around me.. people are training hard.. free weights, machines and cardio.. and as I look around.. I feel like crying out.."Hey everyone, I'm here waiting for the Yoga class, but I'm not one of those 50+ year old women who ONLY does Yoga.. I train hard both in weights and cardio, and I hike and ski and.. and.." Then I looked at my Yoga mat.. and saw the Nike checkmark and felt good.. like the wedding ring of a lady eating alone in a restaurant, reassuring her that even if she is alone at a table, it doesn't mean that she is single.. the little logo on my mat reassured me that even if I was doing Yoga.. I was still an "athletic type" and not a "Yoga type".

Now there's nothing wrong with someone who only does Yoga. At least, intellectually I know that.. heck, I don't even think there is anything wrong with people doing only dance aerobics classes.. I mean.. at least they are doing "something" which is already alot more than many others. But I am not a "Yoga only" lady.. and when I go to my Yoga class it feels good to have a little momento of who I feel I really am (the athletic lady) with me.

Well yesterday while doing my cardio.. since I was doing 3 mins high intensity, 3 mins recouperation, I had some time during the recouperation to watch the people at the machines. I saw this one lady.. maybe 38 years old.. a few pounds over ideal but not much.. perfect hair with gel in it.. some make-up, fashion work-out clothes. She had just been checking her looks in the mirror when beteen weights and cardio I'd gone to the locker room to get my .mp3 player. Normally I would have just laughed to myself about her taking so much care just to go workout..

But yesterday I thought of the Nike checkmark on my Yoga mat.. Maybe that lady works in high-end realestate or maybe she organizes classy social affaires.. and looking her best is an important part of what she has to do and really identifies herself with that. Maybe she only comes to the gym because she "knows it's good for her".. (all the more merit to her if it's not her passion).. and so.. maybe all the time she is at the gym.. she NEEDS even MORE to have something identify her as "not part" of the gym crowd.

And that's ok with me.. but got me thinking again.. (after another 3 mins of extreme oxygenation lol) I need to let go of my "atletic lady" personna when I'm at Yoga. It hasn't been very strong.. no-one noticed it, I completely fit in.. but I know that somewhere in the back of my mind.. I was resisting.. and this time "resistance is futile" and not constructive.

Next Yoga class.. I'll turn my mat upside down.. instead of the Nike Checkmark.. there will be my initials.. representing me.. ALL of me.. not just the altletic lady me.

cancelled..

Tomorrow's hike is cancelled.. so I'm quite lost.. we're still going to my brother's tonight. We were supposed to just sleep overthere to get a head start on our ride to Mount Hurricaine, but now we'll just go visit. However, this means that tomorrow morning we'll be able to pick up the free trees (small) that the city is giving away for the Forest Week.

I had a date with an old friend on IRC (Internet Rely Chat) this morning, and I'll probably read him again some other Friday mornings to keep in touch.. we don't chat anymore.. so it's hard to just wait to be on IRC at the same time, and since he's in europe and only chats from his workplace we almost lost contact.. but we're ON again :) that really feels good. We've been friends for over 9 years.. :)

so today I did a whole lot of phone calls and stuff I had to do.. including varnishing a shelf and it's supports that I painted this week. I hate the smell of varnish.. and even with open windows it sort of made me sick..

which just added to the bloated feeling I have from my anti-inflammatories and my pms.. Might as well have all that togethter.. when it will be over it will be all good at the same time :)

You see.. there is always a positive way of seeing things.. Those who know me always say I have a way to find the good side of things.. even though I think I could do better. But some people don't like that. They like to feel all pittyful and turned on themselves. I'm not saying I NEVER get into that mood.. but I've learned to identify it and get out of it. It's no use thinking about what happened in the past. When I finally realise a problem.. I act on it. It sometimes takes me long to see the problem.. but when I do.. I don't stay in it. Not since my devorce.. that's one thing I learned.. and often I say to myself.. I had the courage to devorce.. I now have the courage to act again as I need to. And that helps me alot :)

but one thing I never cancel.. is friendship .

wow.. what rambling! I need a coffee..

no worries..

I can do it.. I don't eat much if any junk food.. so it's just a question of quantity. I think I've been trying to hard.. in many areas these last months.. and I just need to relax. Everything is going real well and I don't really have any worries!!! These years are good, I just have to lay back a little and appreciate them.

There will surely be more bad days ahead.. but I'll worry about those when they come. For now.. my family and friends are all healthy and happy.. I don't need anything more! :)

I don't know why I have a tendency to worry about stuff.. but I can definately do without it. And with no worries.. there will be no over-eating.. so one less thing to worry about !

I don't know where I found what's below.. but it's printed out and posted in my office at work

"I am responsible for myself at all levels of my being. I don't take any stress that doesn't belong to me, but stay full of love and compassion towards myself and others. Everything I do today is done in softness and security, in the apporpriate amout, guided by my inner wisdom."

I feel zen and I hope you do to.

up and down..

I thought going to a Sushi place would keep the calories down.. but it ended up being an "all you can eat" place.. and my son was paying for me because of Mother's Day.. so I couldn't just eat 5 pieces..

my weight was up to 144 lbs!!!the next morning..

but it's down to 140 today.. and my mind is pretty much set to loose. But this time I wont try to go all the way down low.. I'll stop at 134 and be content with that.

I was at about 136 for the past years.. just went havoc when I tried to go down even more.. I think my body really doesn't like that.

at 5'6½", 134 lbs, eating clean... I'll be healthy, even if I won't have the slim legs I'd like.

so here goes..

140 and counting .

I feeeeeeeel good!

Woke up this morning feeling like heaven!

Let's see what may be the reason for feeling so good..

-found out this week that Eric, my best friend from europe, is coming for 10 days to visit :)

-Cyril from the Gaspé region is waiting for us to go visit during the holidays.

-it's Mother's Day today and I know how much my son loves me and I'm real proud of him.

-I love the new weights program Steve Lussier designed for me. He took into consideration the exercises I did last program.. and made sure not to repeat them exactly.. (like dips) and gave me good stuff for hiking.

-even though my weight is 142 lbs (8lbs more than I want) .. my bodyfat % is still at 16%. There IS hope.


some other good things that I forget sometimes or take for granted..

-Gabriel soooo loves me and shows it all the time.

-we're going dancing tonight.. (and often)

-I have friends all over that are glad to see me when we can get together.

-my brother is always there when I need him.

-my job isn't stressful, and it's not always sitting down either (I'd hate that)

-our new neighbors seem friendly and I'll be happy to get to know them better

-there are two chatrooms on irc where I have great conversations, some friends and feel really part of the groupe

help!!!!

help! please! help!

anybody there?

:)

How many calories to cut..

This is interesting.. : on http://www.mindandmuscle.net/mindandmuscle/

The Answer : So imagine my surprise when this little theoretical paper (note the journal title) showed up on my Pubcrawler last year (1). Titled, “A limit on the energy transfer rate from the human fat store in hypophagia”, it examined (from a somewhat simplified and theoretical way) exactly the question I gave above: what is the maximum rate at which the body can derive energy from fat stores to cover a diet induced deficit while sparing lean body mass. It’s a nasty little paper, filled primarily with equations, explanations of those equations and some more equations to boot. Headache inducing to be sure.

.

I’ll spare you the details. Based on a somewhat simplified analysis of what data exists (including the seminal Minnesota semi-starvation experiment), they conclude that the maximal rate at which fat stores can provide energy to the body is 290 +- 25 kj/kg which is approximately 31 kcal/lb of fat per day.

.

So, if you are carrying a mere 10 lbs. of fat, you can sustain a 310 cal/day deficit.

.

20 lbs. = 620 calories.

.

30 lbs. = 930 calories

.

IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED..

Back from dance classe.. just one orange as a snak.. and picking up all my courage to start counting calories again.

RESUMÉ, WEEK 2

It's going bad.. I just feel like crying. but I'll try again and again until I get it right :(

MAKE ME LEAN ~ DAY 14

TUESDAY

AM :
PM :
evening :

2h30 am 1) 2 oz 4% Cheddar cheese, ½ cup Cottage cheese, 2 tbsp BabaGannouj, 1 oz peanuts, coffee bad girl.. :(

2) ½ cup Quinoa flakes, 1 tsp Montignac jam, 2 oranges, coffee

3) diet coke, 1 oz peanuts, 2 oz roast beef
I'll probably eat everything I can get my hands on today :(

more to come.. *sad*

couldn't log on here all afternoon..

and no.. I just can't log how much I ate at supper.. was like.. I'll "just" eat this.. and a little of this.. and a little of that.. I'm ashamed..

was talking about money problems.. and just ate..

I'm no good at all :/ It's only my fault, no-one else to blame but me.

MAKE ME LEAN ~ DAY 13

MONDAY
wieght : 138

AM : Working at desk
PM : Filing standing up

Groupe fitness classes : 280 + 188 + 170 calories

1) 1 egg + 2 egg whites, green beans, coffee

2) 1 oz peanuts, 1 orange, coffee

3) Lasagne Alfredo wiht broccoli (330 cals), ½ cup cut green beans, apple, coffee

.

4) instant Oatmeal (160 cal)

.

5) 2 slices rye bread, 2 oz roast beef, 2 oz orange juice,

2 Group fitness classes

6) 4 oz orange juice, ½ oz Quinoa Rings

Yoga

7) ½ oz Quinoa Rings, 2 strawberries, 1½ cup cottage cheese, 1 cup bean sprouts and other veggies.

and Greg makes me think I really have to get on the roll to dieting again.. maybe that will help me not to binge! but Steve (BFG) tells me he'll give me a diet and training program on thursday.. ouch.. I can try a diet.. but my training will have to go with what my (not personal) trainer Steve (Lussier) gives me as a new program .. on Friday! or else it will be "program overload, does not compute, does not compute."

MAKE ME LEAN ~ DAY 12

SUNDAY
Weight : 140

AM : Mostly shopping with my son
PM : Mostly moving the rest of the stuff

2h30 am 1) 1 cup oatmeal, 1 oz peanuts, 2,5 oz Pastrami, decaf coffee, 2 oz 4% Cheese, 2 slices rye bread

2) 1 orange, 2 eggs, 2 slice rye bread, ½ cup broccoli, 1 tsp low cal dip

3) 3 slices bread, tomato, lettuce, 1 tbsp Mayonnaise, coffee

4) 4 oz roast beef, 2 oz cheese, 2 oz lean ham. 1 cup celery, low cal dip, 1 0z 90% chocolate,
humm, still hungry...

5) trail mix (340 cals ), decaf coffee
nap at 5h30 pm

6) 3 oranges and other stuff.. I don't even know what..
I'm soooooo tired..but I don't want to go to bed before 9h00 pm.

MAKE ME LEAN ~ DAY 11

SATURDAY
Weight 138,4 lbs

AM : helping my son move
PM : helping my son move
Evening : DVD


1 multi vitamin, 3 fish oil caplets

1) 1 egg, 1 slice rye bread, 1 tsp Montignac spread

2) 1 oz Pine nuts

Lunch eaten in the car : 3) medium Cranberry and Blueberry bran muffin, coffee

Supper at restaurant : 4) ½ chicken-noodle soupe, 2 chicken souvlaki, rice, salade, diet Pepsi, 1 bite cake.

5) 1 oz 4% Cheddar cheese, 2 cups broccoli, 2 tbsp low cal dip (60 cal), décaf coffee.

6) 1 cup broccoli, 1 tbsp lo cal dip (30 cal), 1 orange, decaf coffee

MAKE ME LEAN ~ DAY 10

FRIDAY
Weight : 139,4 lbs

AM Hike : 2h20 : 620 calories
Lunch stop : 15 mins
PM Hike : 4h00 : 1112 calories

1 multi vitamin, 3 fish oil caplets

1) 1 cup oatmeal, 1 oz 4% Cheddar cheese, 1 orange, coffee

Hike 2) 1 oz peanuts & raissins mix

3) 2 slices rye bread, 2 oz roast beef, Dijon mustard, ½ green pepper, 1 apple

Hike 3) 3 oz peanuts & raissins mix, 6 oz tomato juice

4) 1 blueberry Nutri-grain bar

5) Lasagna Alfredo (330 calories) , 1 cup 1% Cottage cheese

6) green pepper, 2 anchovies with capers, ½ tbsp low cal dip

7) 1 cup 2% homemade yogurt.. feel good cheat snack

MAKE ME LEAN ~ DAY 9

THURSDAY
Weight : 138,8 lbs

AM : active.. like a waitress at rush hour for 1,5 hours.. then a little calmer
PM : active.. like a waitress at rush hour for 2 hours.. then a little calmer
Evening : Yoga class 60 mins

1 multi vitamin, 3 fish oil caplets

1) 2 eggs, 1 thin toast, coffee

2) apple, 1 oz 4% Cheddar cheese

3) 3 oz fresh salmon, ½ cup rice, 1 cup mushrooms (raw), 1 tbsp low cal dip, 1 cup 1% cottage cheese I was like SOOO hungry! coffe3

4) 1 oz pine nuts, 5 oz tomato juice

5) 3 oz lean chicken, 1 cup green beans, 1 Nutri-Grain bar

Yoga

6) 1 oz 4% Cheddar cheese, small slice of bread, 2 large bowls of mixed salad, low cal mayo. 4 anchovys with capers

not over 'til it's over.. but I hope it's almost over..

MAKE ME LEAN ~ DAY 8

WEDNESDAY
Weight : 138,8 lbs

AM : sitting at computer and walking around a classroom handing out papers (more walking than sitting)
PM : mostly desk work
Evening : dentiste appointment

1 multi vitamin, 3 fish oil caplets

1) Meal Replacement Shake with 1% milk, 1 oz pine nuts, coffee

2) 1 apple, 1oz 4% Cheddar cheese,

3) 2 oz chicken, ½ cup Jasmin rice, piece of green pepper, 1 cup 1% cottage cheese, 2 oranges, coffee

4) 1 oz peanuts

5) 6 oz tomato juice, celery, 1 tbsp humus, coffee

6) dry roasted soy beans (99cals), 1 cup mushrooms, grilled chicken and veggies (160 calories) , 1 cup homemade 2% yogurt with a few blueberries

8h20 PM having trouble not eating.. boyfriend's night at Volleyball and Floor Hockey.. no friends on the net.. I wish I had someone to talk to about it.. but at least there is no Peanut butter in the house.. and if there are Cereals.. they are hidden.

7) 2 tbsp Hummus, coffee

8) 4 mushrooms, 1 tbsp low cal veggie dip..

and a phone call from a SIL helped passed the evening.. time to go to bed.. but I feel on an empty stomach.

But I DO so want to lean down.. alot more than I am now.. my muscles are too big to have fat around them.. I feel much more agile when I am lean.. and I SO love to move and dance. *sigh*

If anybody is reading.. good night. *warm smile*

RESUMÉ, WEEK 1

Well.. I guess I'm back on track, but not sure I'm going anywhere yet.

I used to only weight myself on Sundays but since I started this log on a Wednesday, might as well change my habbits.


ahhh and I just have to keep a copy of this message Pete put up on WebMD :

Motivation for maintaining? (by PeteC122 on Apr-29-06)

Another summer season upcoming, and here I am without a care in the world about losing so much as a pound...I'll wear whatever fits the temperature...(what is a "cover up"?)...I love those commercials for desperate folks "It's still not too late to get into shape for summer!"...heehee too late, already "there"! For every time that I did not make an excuse, and skip the gym...for every time that I did not raid the fridge...for every time I was at the supermarket, but did not buy the candy just because it was "on sale"...life is sweet...and not all "sweet" things have calories!

--SW: 280+ lbs / CW: 170 lbs "Deeds, not words"

MAKE ME LEAN ~ DAY 7

TUESDAY

AM : standing, preparing exams
PM : working at desk, filling in forms
Evening : Ballroom Dance class


1 multi vitamin, 3 fish oil caplets

1) 1 cup 1% cotttage cheese, 1 cup ceam of wheat, coffee

2) 1 oz 4% Cheddar cheese, apple, coffee

3) 2 cups lettuce, ¼ green pepper, ¼ small oignon, 1 tbsp low calorie Mayo (50cals), 2 slices thin bread, 2 oz roast beef, Dijon mustard, 6 oz tomato juice

4) 2 oz lean chicken, coffee

5) 1 cup celery, 1 tbsp humus, 4 oz fresh salmon, ½ cup rice, ½ cup asparagus, green tea, 1 oz 4% Cheddar cheese

Dance Class and waited 1h15 for tickets to the Year End Gala

10h00 PM
6) ½ cup cottage cheese

MAKE ME LEAN ~ DAY 6

Monday

AM : computer stuff
PM : mostly standing, filing
Evening : 3 Fitness Group WOs : 750 calories

1 multi vitamin, 3 fish oil caplets

1) 1 cup oatmeal, coffee

2) ½ cup 1% cottage cheese, 1 oz peanuts, coffee (beurk, so weak I should call it water)
hummm I think I'll have trouble today.. I'm very hungry.. if anyone is reading.. HELPPPP!!!

3) 2 thin slices of bread, 3 oz roast beef, Dijon mustard, 6 oz tomato juice, coffee.

4) apple, 1 oz 4% Cheddar cheese, coffee

5) 2 oz lean chicken, ½ cup wild rice, ½ cup carrots.

Group WOs

6) ½ cup 2% homemade yogurt, 1 scoop Vanilla Soya Protein

7) 1 orange

MAKE ME LEAN ~ DAY 5

Sunday

weight : 138,8
bf% : 16,5

AM quiet stuff
Noon WO 575 calories
PM quiet stuff

1) 2 thin toasts, 1 tbsp Montignac 4 fruit spread (15 cals), 1 oz 4% cheddar cheese, 4 oz orange juice, coffee.

2) 1 cup 2% homemade yogurt, ½ cup Muslix cereals.
but I'm asking my boyfriend to hide the cereals in his office downstairs from now on

WO

3) 1 oz Walnuts

4) (lunch) Broccoli Velouté, 3 oz roast beef, 1 cup Wax Beans, 1 apple, 1 orange, coffee

5) good portions of liver and oignons, some carrots and rice, celery, 1 tbsp humus, decaf coffee.

6) ½ oz 90% chocolate

7) celery, cucumber, low cal veggie dip watching the Habs

10pm just didn't realize it was so late..
8) 2 oz roast chicked, 1 orange

MAKE ME LEAN ~ DAY 4

Saturday

AM : Bike Ride 1h55 ~650 calories
PM : Light gardening and housework in the afternoon

Multi-Vitamin and 3 fish-oil caplets

1) 1 egg + 2 egg whites, 1 cup cut wax beans, ½ cup 1% cottage cheese, coffee

2) meal replacement shake with 1% milk (240 calories), 1 orange.

Bike ride

3) 1 slice bread, 1 oz 4% cheddar cheese, 2 cups raw broccoli wtih 2 tbsp feta dip (180 cals)

Would have continued, was real hungry but curved my appetite with water and a coffee.

4) ½ cup cottage cheese

5) homemade velouté of broccoli and lettuce (and 1% milk), 4 dried tomatoes sprinkled with olive oil, 8 capers, diet coke

6) 1 oz Pine nuts I love them so !

hummm.. Gabriel ate supper 2 hours after me.. t'was difficult not to snack..
7) some salad, ½ cup roasted chick peas

8) 1 cup 1% cottage cheese, decaf coffee

midnight.. hunger lurks.. and 30 minutes later..
9) large bowl of Muslix cerials with 1% milk (about 600 calories?)
I'm disappointed about having eaten that.. but ahhh I'll sleep so much better.

MAKE ME LEAN ~ DAY 3

Friday

HIKE AM : 362 calories
HIKE PM : 895 calories

Multi-Vitamin and 3 fish-oil caplets
1) cream of wheat with 2 egg whites, 1 oz 4% cheddar cheese, coffee

2) 1 oz 4% cheddar cheese, 1 oz raisins & peanuts

AM Hike

3) roast beef sandwhich (2 slices bread, 2 oz rb, Dijon mustard), 1 large red pepper, 6 oz veggie-juice, 1 oz raisins & peanuts

PM Hike - start

4) 2 oz raisins & peanuts

PM Hike - finish

5) salade (lettuce, tomatoe, green pepper, oignon, olive oil, dijon mustuard), 1 cup 1% cottage cheese, 1 large tbsp Baba Gannouj, coffee

6) 2½ oz roast beef, 2 oranges, decaf coffee

8h40 PM : I hope that's all ..

7) 1 oz 4% cheddar

8h53 PM : that HAS to be all..

MAKE ME LEAN ~ DAY 2

Thursday

Work AM :
1h30 of : walk-sit-walk-carry dictionairys, reach, bend, twist at brisk walk speed
2h30 of : same as above but at stroll speed

only had 15 mins for lunch after a very busy morning with no break. I found that really hard.

Work PM :
1h30 of : standing, filing, strolling
2h00 of : sitting, reaching, filing

1) cup Raisin Bran, 1% milk, ½ oz 4% cheddar (preparing lunch), coffee

2) apple, 1 oz 4% cheddar

3) chicken and Penne (300 cals), 1 cup asparagus tips, 6 oz veggie-juice, coffee

4) ½ c 1% cottage cheese, 4 dried tomatoes, 2 oz orange juice, 1 oz peanuts.

at 2h30 PM took 2 "Tums" ant-acid tablets

5) 4 oz orange juice, ½ roast beef sandwich (1 slice bread, 2 oz rb, Dijon mustard)

5h30 - 6h30 PM : Yoga

6) 3 oz roast beef, celery, 2 tbsp Baba Gannouj, 1 oz 4% cheddar, and I'm still very very hungry , decaf coffee, 1 oz pine nuts, 8" cucumber.

7) A slice of bread with a little butter.. that was really good!

But I didn't take any chances.. For starters I decided to "Let myself be taken away by the soothing tranquility of their Fruits & Passion foaming bath cream. Prepared entirely from vegetable derivatives and essential oils, the velvety texture of their foaming bath cream leaves my skin soft and delicately scented with a light fruit bouquet" Georgian Peach.. Listening to "Les Soirées du Prince" classical music FM channel..

MAKE ME LEAN ~ DAY 1

I'll probably log on Fitday sometime soon.. but for now I'll do it here.. got back from the gym around 8h30 pm and want to be in bed by 10h00. Watching the 3rd period of the Habs game .. I only watch them during the Series.. but do enjoy it.

The way I ate today is NOT the way I ate these last weeks.. at least.. not the quantities! Logging sure helps to take control.. specially when we think someone will read.. ;)


Wednesday

AM work = équivalent of strolling
PM work = équivalent of sitting
Total WO calories = 696 calories according to my Polar HR monitor (I'm sceptique)

***

1) diet shake with 1% milk (250 calories) , 3 dried tomatoes, 4 oz orange juice, coffee (no sugar, 1 tbsp 1%milk)

2) apple, 1 oz 4% Cheddar cheese

3) egg sandwich (2 eggs, 2 slices bread, 1 tsp butter), 6 oz tomatoe juice, 1 cup raw broccoli, coffee

4) celery and 2 tbsp Baba Gannouj

5) sardines (190 calories), orange

WO

6) 1 oz pine nuts

7) lasagne Alfredo (330 calories), 1 huge green pepper

AFTER NINE : 2 tbsp 1% cottage cheese

EARLY MORNING THE FIRST DAY

Ahhh it's spring time.. the leaves are starting to show and the weather is warmer..

but that has nothing to do with this Blog.. at least not for now.. so let's get to the point.

This message from Steve got me motivated to start trying to get to be the lean mean love machine I want to be..

2006-04-25
I think the first thing to do is workout a map of your weeks daily energy expenditure including times of expenditure etc and duration and intensity (that would mean using a Rat of Perceived Perception 1 being extremely low and 10 being extremely intense close to passing out).then we can work out your peeks and flows. The next stage I would say to do is keep a food log as you do for the week, an entirely honest one warts and all and vices and also commentary as to ie Gosh I want to stick my head in a trough and pig out etc then we can start to build around that.Personaly I think we need structure but I also think your not fueling your demands well. I think that some days the intensity pushes you way to low that the body holds onto stores big time and yuo are forever refeeding.I know I harp on about it but could yuo keep a water log too: use a 500 ml water bottle and put the 8 rubber bands on it to keep track. hows that lot sound for starters.....I dont wanna promise you miracles without knowing the full story.