Idendifying..

I started yoga a few weeks ago.. and after just 1 week, I bought a yoga mat. It's really for a safety reason.. the fitness mats available are very slippery but also for comfort.. the fitness mats are too short and standing barefoot on the floor is cold. Anyways I surfed to learn a little about mats and figured it would cost to much transportation to buy one online, and so I set out to see what was available around where I live. I found this set on sail at 40% off.. with a carrying bag but also with blocks and a strap that I didn't need, but since it was such a bargin.. I figured maybe I'll need them in the futur. Usually when I start an activity I do it for quite a while. I had noticed of course that it was a Nike yoga mat.. and usually I don't care about logos on equipement.. so much.. that I wish my car didn't have make and model identification on it and on our refrigerater I took make logo off the front and stuck in inside the fridge.

But this time.. with the yoga mat something was different.. I was glad there was the Nike Checkmark on it.. and I wondered why.

The answer came to me on the first Thursday after when I went to yoga class with my mat. What's special about Thursday's Yoga class is that I don't do any training before.. (before my Monday's Yoga class I do my regular strenght work-out and a Tae-Box class). So there I am in line waiting for the class to begin, talking with the other people who take the class and having a nice social moment. However.. around me.. people are training hard.. free weights, machines and cardio.. and as I look around.. I feel like crying out.."Hey everyone, I'm here waiting for the Yoga class, but I'm not one of those 50+ year old women who ONLY does Yoga.. I train hard both in weights and cardio, and I hike and ski and.. and.." Then I looked at my Yoga mat.. and saw the Nike checkmark and felt good.. like the wedding ring of a lady eating alone in a restaurant, reassuring her that even if she is alone at a table, it doesn't mean that she is single.. the little logo on my mat reassured me that even if I was doing Yoga.. I was still an "athletic type" and not a "Yoga type".

Now there's nothing wrong with someone who only does Yoga. At least, intellectually I know that.. heck, I don't even think there is anything wrong with people doing only dance aerobics classes.. I mean.. at least they are doing "something" which is already alot more than many others. But I am not a "Yoga only" lady.. and when I go to my Yoga class it feels good to have a little momento of who I feel I really am (the athletic lady) with me.

Well yesterday while doing my cardio.. since I was doing 3 mins high intensity, 3 mins recouperation, I had some time during the recouperation to watch the people at the machines. I saw this one lady.. maybe 38 years old.. a few pounds over ideal but not much.. perfect hair with gel in it.. some make-up, fashion work-out clothes. She had just been checking her looks in the mirror when beteen weights and cardio I'd gone to the locker room to get my .mp3 player. Normally I would have just laughed to myself about her taking so much care just to go workout..

But yesterday I thought of the Nike checkmark on my Yoga mat.. Maybe that lady works in high-end realestate or maybe she organizes classy social affaires.. and looking her best is an important part of what she has to do and really identifies herself with that. Maybe she only comes to the gym because she "knows it's good for her".. (all the more merit to her if it's not her passion).. and so.. maybe all the time she is at the gym.. she NEEDS even MORE to have something identify her as "not part" of the gym crowd.

And that's ok with me.. but got me thinking again.. (after another 3 mins of extreme oxygenation lol) I need to let go of my "atletic lady" personna when I'm at Yoga. It hasn't been very strong.. no-one noticed it, I completely fit in.. but I know that somewhere in the back of my mind.. I was resisting.. and this time "resistance is futile" and not constructive.

Next Yoga class.. I'll turn my mat upside down.. instead of the Nike Checkmark.. there will be my initials.. representing me.. ALL of me.. not just the altletic lady me.